My father was a doctor, often on call for emergencies. Though he worked tirelessly, he valued family time. Long before “work-life balance” entered the American vernacular, he practiced it.
Now, decades later, I carry both his work ethic and commitment to loved ones in my own life and share these values with my daughter and clients at Pence Capital Management, where I am the chief investment officer. With summer winding down, I am reminded of the importance of prioritizing family while pursuing success.
Shopify President Harley Finkelstein spoke last year about the concept of “work-life harmony” rather than “work-life balance.” I tend to agree. For each of us, there will be many seasons of life where balance will ebb and flow. For the sake of our health and our families, we must learn to find harmony in the season we are in.
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What it takes to put family first
Consider this: A great family, financial success, yet children who feel disconnected.
In my decades of work as a wealth adviser, I’ve seen the terrible repercussions of professionals who have done well financially at the expense of their families. It’s not uncommon in our industry to guide clients through painful divorces.
Even in our Golden State, where the rest of the country comes to rest and recharge, Californians need to get away as much as anyone else.
You can choose to prioritize meaningful connections now rather than risk repairing — even severing — relationships later. While financial security is important, investing time in your family can be even more valuable.
Begin today by establishing clear guidelines and intentionally dedicating time and resources to your family’s well-being. It’s easier than it sounds.
Consider the ‘BS account’
It’s often hard to spend our hard-earned money because we fear something might come up that requires those funds. Naturally, we want to protect our assets and save for a rainy day, as we were taught for many years.
But allowing yourself to spend on experiences for you and your loved ones is one of life’s greatest gifts, and one that can slip away if we’re not careful. We should be as intentional about spending on experiences as we are with retirement planning.
My father called this practice a “BS account” and encouraged me to create one early. His rule: Imagine something you want to do with your family, set a cost and save for it in a separate investment account. When you reach the goal, spend it. Then start again.
When I was growing up, he contributed money to this savings account every month, and whenever it reached a certain level, he would spend it on something for the family — usually a great vacation.
When I was young, his “BS account” bought a lake house. Our family would retreat there every weekend and spend time together outdoors.
In the spring, I formally presented the concept of “BS accounts” to a few hundred of our clients and encouraged them to send our team photos if they took our advice.
It’s been one of the greatest joys of my professional career to see their memories start rolling into our inboxes.
What experiences matter most to you?
Today, some of my own “BS account” goes toward funding biannual family reunions, one of which I recently wrapped up in the Middle East.
Yours might fund a magical trip to Disneyland, an escape to Europe or the adventurous “California Double,” where you surf in the morning and ski in the afternoon. “BS accounts” are less about the cost and more about intentionality and memories.
Decide what experiences matter most to you and your loved ones. Take the first steps: Set up your own account, define the rules and start saving for moments you’ll remember.
Make your memories a priority — commit to spending for experiences, not just saving for someday.
You set the rules.
Create transformative traditions
Children will remember the time and memories they share with their parents more than any paycheck. Financial statements might gather dust in a drawer, but the experiences we share stay with us for life.
For a lasting legacy, make your scrapbook as important as your checkbook.
None of us needs permission to spend our money, but sometimes we do need a little encouragement.