Kelly Clarkson might be known as the first American Idol, but when shopping in New York this month, she felt more like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
“Just drove all the way to Brooklyn to check out this store I thought looked really rad and had a few things in mind to buy and literally was looked at as if I couldn’t afford it and was told he could find something comparable for me,” she posted online. “Wow, dude. You’re an idiot and just lost a huge sale.”
She then went on to, as they say on the internet, name and shame the store, calling it out specifically as Art of Play. Art of Play has since responded to the incident, saying that Clarkson was inquiring about an item — “a one-of-a-kind singing and dancing bird automaton” named Molly — that, they say, is not for sale. The store added that “whether someone comes in to make a purchase or simply look around for a while, they are equally welcome.”
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This being modern times, uproar over the Kelly Clarkson-Molly bird debacle has fueled debate since the pop singer and TV host’s initial post. Was she right to be offended? Was she right to post online? Was the store right to push back on her version of the story? And what, exactly, makes Molly so special? (Once you see a video of the bird, honestly, that part makes sense.)
“People saying ‘maybe he didn’t know who Kelly Clarkson was’ are missing the point that they should be treating their customers like everyone is Kelly Clarkson,” wrote one user on X.
Others are calling out Clarkson for using her considerable platform to critique a small business. Art of Play itself had something to say about this, writing: “Imagine our surprise when our small local business was suddenly attacked by 8 million people who have never visited our store. It’s been a surreal experience to be the focus of such widespread outrage after just one mention by a celebrity.”
Seeking some clarity on the issue, I spoke with Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute and Emily Post’s great-great-granddaughter. There’s been so much public he-said-she-said that this is not about making a judgment call on anyone involved in this exact situation, but there are some lessons you can learn for any time you feel disrespected or mistreated while shopping.
Step one: Communicate (ideally without causing a scene)
While Post was admittedly tickled by the argument-gone-wild, she had some etiquette-inspired advice for what to do if you find yourself feeling like Clarkson. Whether you’re a celebrity or not, you can always speak up if you feel that you’re not being treated respectfully, Post said.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean speaking up publicly. Instead, she suggests starting by asking to speak with a manager. If the salesperson says they are the manager, ask to speak with the store owner to give feedback on your experience.
“The more calm that you can remain when other people are either intentionally or unintentionally being jerks, the better off you are,” Post said.
This isn’t an opportunity to shout or vent off frustration. Rather, having a conversation brings the chance for growth and is a less embarrassing opportunity for correction and restorative action, Post explained.
“It’s important to be able to forgive people for mistakes and understand that people aren’t going to be their best all the time and to have a little grace around that,” she said.
Sharing your experience publicly
Generally speaking, “you’re within your right to share your experience about something,” Post said, whether that’s restaurant food not being up to standards, service being substandard, or work not being completed as scheduled. Often that happens via word-of-mouth, but in these modern times, that can also happen on online review sites.
(Posting online when you’re a mega-celebrity can be a little tricky, and if you do happen to have a large following or platform, “being aware of the impact that that kind of a moment can have” is helpful to avoid drama.)
But before you hit the keyboard and post that scathing review, “I do think giving someone a fair shot to address the issue” is fair, Post said. Try to have a conversation about your experience and allow space for a reconciliation. But if you try that “and it’s still a horrible experience, it’s up to you” whether you leave a negative review.
And sometimes, it’s just about choosing your battles. While Clarkson was frustrated by her experience as a shopper, we’ve all also heard stories about shoppers acting disrespectfully to employees. That is to say: On any given day, there’s bound to be an argument or perceived slight between someone somewhere. If you’ve acted calmly and a reasonable attempt at understanding has gone poorly, you can simply choose to move on, avoid further escalation — and spend your money elsewhere.